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BELARUSIANS LAUGH

Окт 29, 2017
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While studying a man with a neurological condition which involves patients telling too many jokes, neurologists have shown that a sense of humor requires very complex brain processing. Scientists at Oxford use the following joke (which they state is the funniest joke in the world) to study how the brain engages in this higher level of thinking: Tree guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.” Resolving the puzzle in the joke actually “tickles” the brain’s pleasure centers, making people laugh (or at least, smile politely). “The ‘ha ha’ moment is not very far from the ‘aha’ moment,” explains Jason Warren at University College London. So, Belarusians are right when they say that there is no such thing as a “bad” joke!

***
A dying Belarusian dictates his will:
“I leave Vasi 10,000, Peter 50,000, and Alessa 250,000.”
He stops and looks up, “Lord, where am I going to get so much money?”
***
“Neighbor, can you fix my electric socket?”
“You have a husband, make him do it!”
“That’s dangerous. I don’t want him to die from the shock.”
***
Two Belarusian police officers are having a discussion: “Tomorrow is our colleague’s birthday, right? What do you think we should give him?”
“A book?”
“No, he doesn’t need that, he already has one.”
***
A husband says to his wife, “Will you drink some vodka?”
“No.”
“Ok, now you ask me.”
***
A small boy says to a little girl, “Do you know why grownups close their eyes when they kiss?”
“They have done it so many times that they remember how to do it already!”
***
Belarusian Marketplace:
“Miss, boil some live crabs!”
“Oh, I feel bad throwing them into boiled water…”
“When you boil them, just close the eyes.”
“What, for each one?”
***
In the operation room: A patient counts the money in their wallet. The doctor says, “Oh no, you do not need to pay!” The patient replies, “I am not counting the money for that. I will soon fall asleep from the anesthesia, and, who knows, maybe someone will look in my wallet.”
***
Two Belarusians are dining in a restaurant in Minsk. After dinner, one asks the other:
“Did you pay the bill?”
“No…you?”
“Then what are we still doing here?!”
***
A Belarusian ran a tavern across from a cemetery. There was a sign on the door that read, “It’s better in here than over there.”
***
A Belarusian mother says to her small son,
“Grandpa is sick, go tell him something nice!”
He goes over and says, “Grandpa, would you like a live band to play at your funeral?”
***
Belarusians really love potatoes and eat them often. One Belarusian asks another:
“What would you do if all the potatoes disappeared?”
“I would go to the moon!”
“Why?”
“There are no police there, lots of places to grow potatoes, and I won’t see my wife…”

***
Laughter certainly is the best medicine!

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